My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
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Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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