Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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