bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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