True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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