i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
