If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
