Me too!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize