God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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