i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
