Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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