No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
