We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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