i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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