sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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