So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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