Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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  (615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9
  Replies (30) Good night (703) Bad night (2979)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.

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  (715): I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead. http://tfl.nu/jayy
  Replies (19) Good night (1830) Bad night (3851)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  hahaha! you have a girlfriend

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...

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  (520): hahaha! you have a girlfriend (1-520): tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today... http://tfl.nu/4wx1
  Replies (20) Good night (4457) Bad night (1392)
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  (949): View more from California

  just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.

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  (949): just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name. http://tfl.nu/0fqx
  Replies (9) Good night (4453) Bad night (1374)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

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  (734): i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth.. http://tfl.nu/wfim
  Replies (17) Good night (4023) Bad night (1545)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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  (405): i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes http://tfl.nu/6w2z
  Replies (10) Good night (5569) Bad night (1150)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.

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  (901): I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues. http://tfl.nu/beiy
  Replies (13) Good night (983) Bad night (2799)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's great music for shaving your balls

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  (850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw
  Replies (25) Good night (3908) Bad night (1799)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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  (508): I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.' http://tfl.nu/78ru
  Replies (7) Good night (2426) Bad night (1050)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I hope you did not try this.

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  (404): When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face. (706): I hope you did not try this. http://tfl.nu/9l4w
  Replies (10) Good night (1650) Bad night (1142)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down

  (253): View more from Washington

  ppsyche im wasted where are you

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  (253): i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down (253): ppsyche im wasted where are you http://tfl.nu/a8tg
  Replies (5) Good night (3665) Bad night (759)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

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  (860): I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct http://tfl.nu/jyp0
  Replies (3) Good night (1740) Bad night (526)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear

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  (774): My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/ln1o
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (405)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha

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  (774): Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha http://tfl.nu/rnub
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (384)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.

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  (860): I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store. http://tfl.nu/502t
  Replies (10) Good night (451) Bad night (779)

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