he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.