Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
