Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

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  (419): There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around http://tfl.nu/vprs
  Replies (41) Good night (898) Bad night (3511)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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  (503): You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin." http://tfl.nu/0mfk
  Replies (13) Good night (2772) Bad night (809)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes

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  (412): i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/hjgx
  Replies (55) Good night (809) Bad night (5813)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk

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  (303): i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk http://tfl.nu/s9es
  Replies (25) Good night (6166) Bad night (1140)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.

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  (513): Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March. http://tfl.nu/hwnt
  Replies (13) Good night (3836) Bad night (974)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"

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  (734): What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?" http://tfl.nu/tcpf
  Replies (26) Good night (3408) Bad night (1379)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.

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  (815): Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night. http://tfl.nu/jyfi
  Replies (10) Good night (1544) Bad night (898)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.

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  (917): Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets. http://tfl.nu/ksjf
  Replies (10) Good night (960) Bad night (1692)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.

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  (262): just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard. http://tfl.nu/jn37
  Replies (11) Good night (2346) Bad night (614)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.

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  (914): Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt. http://tfl.nu/ro8e
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (516)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that

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  (780): Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that http://tfl.nu/j30v
  Replies (5) Good night (978) Bad night (591)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  (505): I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy. (703): OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/zfcv
  Replies (1) Good night (2108) Bad night (628)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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  (248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt
  Replies (0) Good night (722) Bad night (412)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!

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  (928): I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night! http://tfl.nu/vne9
  Replies (0) Good night (1162) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl

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  (443): Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl http://tfl.nu/vb8k
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (601)

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