I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea