batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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