My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
