Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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