He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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