You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you win again, gameday.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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