I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
