I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
