i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be