White coat. Heels.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.