yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
