So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused