Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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