I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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