And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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