you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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