you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
