remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize