We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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