I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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