I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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