ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Someone signed my nipple.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
