You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
