we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
