There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
