...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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