Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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