Just cropdusted the office
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
