i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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