i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
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Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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