Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
