I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
