Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
