I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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