return my video game
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize