You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
