Duck Duck Cougar?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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