i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We left the knife in your bed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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