yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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