We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
