Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My dick has a subreddit
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
