Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
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Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
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the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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