I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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