Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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